Pedantic, or just logical?

© Google Street View

Before moving to Gloucestershire I often drove past a sign that instructed me to Use both lanes for Truro.  "What?" I would ask myself, "Do they want me to drive down the middle of the carriageway or zig-zag from side to side? What the sign really meant, of course, was Use either lane for Truro.   Call me a pedant if you must, but I found the wording more than a little frustrating.  For the sake of one extra letter, why not get it right?

Then there was my dad's hotel.  In order to comply with the Fire Regulations,* the door to the under-stairs cupboard had a sign proclaiming This door must be kept closed.  And with my logical brain, I used to wonder, "Why have a door there at all? Why not just have a wall?"

I lay the blame for this mode of thinking firmly at the feet of my supervisor, when I was a young and impressionable trainee.  One conversation, I recall, went something like this:
"Don, we've run out of Highly Inflammable notices."
"Mmm.  I suppose they all caught fire."
"May I have an order, please?"
"Certainly.  Jump up in the air and stay there!"

The problem is that, once you start thinking in this highly logical manner, it does rather take a hold. Consequently, when on my regular walks in the forest I come to a gate with the notice Please close the gate, I'm left with a problem.  The gate is already closed, so I can't close it... and how can I get through it?

If you find the sign on the right amusing, then it's clear that the rot has set in and I welcome you to The Society of Logical Thinkers.  I warn you, though, that there is no known cure.

Finally, for members new and old of the aforementioned society, I leave you with this one:

The world comprises 10 sorts of people: 

those who understand binary 

and those who do not.

* Actually, of course, they are Fire Prevention Regulations, but I'll let that one pass.