Bognor Regis Girls

I've never felt particularly proud of being born in Bognor Regis. Mum and dad ran this shop in Argyle Road but I have no early memories of it as we moved to Newquay when I was still a baby. Consequently, I grew up feeling a strong association with Cornwall — an association strengthened still more when a respected local historian declared me to be Cornish.  "But I was born in Bognor," I sadly pointed out. "Rubbish," he replied, "Of course you're Cornish!"

© Google Street View

King George V must take a lot of the blame for my antipathy towards Bognor. The story goes that his majesty's health was poor after a lung operation, so he was advised to spend time convalescing in the health-imparting sea airs of Bognor. He famously replied: "Oh bugger Bognor!"

Fifty years were destined to pass before I returned to Bognor Regis. Mum and dad's shop had become an Indian restaurant, and very nice it was too. I showed the proprietor my old photo, explained my connection, and was given complimentary drinks to go with my excellent meal.

Standing outside, the following morning, it wasn't hard to imagine throngs of happy holiday makers calling in at the shop to buy food in preparation for a day on the nearby beach. Incidentally, dad once told me that the tyre inner tube in the old photo was being sold as a beach ring. In those early post-war years, purpose-made beach items were presumably in short supply.

Here are three of my photos from that return visit.

To Cornish eyes the beach is uninspiring and the pier has little to offer in comparison with the fine headlands of Newquay. Nonetheless, there is a certain tranquil beauty there, which has recently inspired me to think better of my birthplace. It was whilst soaking in the bath last night that a song came to me, in praise of Bognor.  It has a certain Beach Boys quality to it, don't you think?

Well, London girls are hip, I really dig those styles they wear

and the Scottish girls with the way they talk

they knock me out when I'm up there.

The Cornish farmers' daughters really make you feel alright

and the Forest girls with the way they kiss

they keep their boyfriends warm at night

[Chorus]

I wish they all could be Bognor Regis,

I wish they all could be Bognor Regis,

I wish they all could be Bognor Regis Girls

Bognor Regis Girl

Lychees by the score

"When I kiss you it will be an important event, 

like ones first taste of lychee."

(Lord Peter Wimsey in Have His Carcase)

For some inexplicable reason, I had lived my 68 years without once tasting lychee. I've seen it many a time on the desert menu at Chinese restaurants, but banana fritters have always won the day. Maybe the name sounded too much like leaches to tempt me. 

Photo from Naomi Schillinger's Out of my Shed blog

'Twas a couple of Saturdays ago that my lychee famine ended. Almost every Saturday morning finds me at the fruit & veg stall in our small open-air market. The vegetables are, without fail, unquestionably fresh. Unlike their supermarket cousins, they do not shine in artificial light and (shock horror) often have soil on them.  But, despite refreshingly low prices, I like to think that the producers have received a fair return for their labours and have not been driven to near-bankruptcy because their parsnips are not the regulation length, their courgettes the wrong shade of green or their carrots too spindly and not brilliant orange. Incidentally, have you tasted purple carrots? Very nice they are, and once a common sight before we were all taught that carrots should be orange.

But this is supposed to be a post about lychees, not carrots, so back to the market. At the left hand end of the stall lies the fruit. There are always apples (frequently Russetts, yum yum) and usually plums, grapes and peaches. On this particular Saturday, though, they were joined by a tray of small, rough-skinned green and red things.  "They're lychees," said the lady behind the stall. "Try one."  I did, peeling back the thick skin to reveal a firm white pulp. "Very nice," said I — though whether as nice as being snogged by Lord Peter Wimsey, I couldn't possibly speculate.  "I'll have some, please."

One week later... "Those lychees were lovely," said I. "Here, have this lot!" said she, "They're past their best, so I can't sell them."  Which is why I came home with about 3 times as many lychees as the week before.

Here they are in my fruit bowl. If you click the photo to enlarge it, you'll see that some have a fine coating of mildew, so definitely 'past their best'. However, this is simply the result of juice from the pulp permeating the skin; when the skin is peeled off, the fruit beneath is perfectly fine.

It was, however, clear that those lychees wouldn't remain edible for much longer, so last night I set about peeling and stoning all but the most healthy-looking specimens, and planning to breakfast on them. 

Thanks to Slimming World, I have discovered the delights of Overnight Oats. For this I put 35g of oats into a jug, plop in 200g of fat-free yogurt and top it with a handful of fruit — usually something squashy like blackberries but this time, of course, chopped lychees. I then stick the jug in the fridge, where it remains overnight.  According to Slimming World, the 'jug' should actually be a sealable container (like one of those old Kilner jars) but I've never understood the reason for this. Maybe some folk have smelly fridges.  Anyway, by breakfast time the yogurt and fruit have soaked into the oats. A final whisk with a spoon, and I end up with this...

Believe me, it's very yummy; perhaps more so with blackberries or raspberries, but yummy nonetheless. And for those of us wedded to the Slimming World plan, it has no syns and doesn't eat into the dairy (Healthy 'A') allowance.

And now I see that I still have 8 lychees.  What shall I do with them?

Hellooo

The time had come to review my energy supplier.  Just over a year ago I left E.On – who had chosen to raise their prices when most suppliers were cutting theirs – and sign up with First Utility.

First Utility are a relatively new player in the field and the largest outside the "Big Six", so it clearly payed them to be competitive as they fought to attract customers. Consequently, I expected to stay with them for several years.  It wasn't to be.

I was soon put on my guard with persistent offers of long-term deals if I switched from my relatively inexpensive tariff to a more expensive "inflation proof" one for 18 months. These culminated in an unsolicited and very pushy phone call for a never to be repeated Black Friday offer. I said that I couldn't possibly make a decision without looking carefully at the tariff, and rang off.  Surprise, surprise; it was still significantly higher than my existing deal. By now, I was definitely smelling a rat! Then, as the contract neared its end, this email arrived —

Hello Angela.
Good news, we’re pleased to confirm you’ve updated your tariff to First Fixed November 2017 V9. This guarantees you’ll be protected from energy price rises until 30 November 2017. There’s no need to do anything, your tariff has been automatically updated from 04 December 2016.

I immediately emailed them, stating that I had NOT authorised this update and requesting to be returned to my original tariff. I would, I explained, review my energy supply arrangements before the end of January, but doubted that I would continue with First Utility. Back came this reply —

Hello Angela.
Thank you for your email. I have cancelled the request as this was not made by yourself. Your current tariff has now reverted to the original iSave Fixed January 2017. I hope this information helped. If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to get in contact with us.

So now the search was on. Deals change from week to week.  Early in December the comparisons on MoneySupermarket.com for my lowish fuel consumption had looked like this:

I'd no idea who Flow were. Co-operative Energy had, I knew, recently gained an accolade for having more complaints per 1000 customers than any other supplier.  Anyway, it was actually too early to consider a change as I would have incurred cancellation charges.

This week the comparison looked like this:

Scottish Power also have a somewhat tarnished reputation, having been fined £18million by Ofgen for "failing to treat customers fairly." Well they've had a few months to get their act together and (who would have believed it?) they were cheaper than my existing deal ... and a lot cheaper than the ones with which First Utility had tried so hard to tempt me.  Yes, it was a rat I'd smelled!

Rather than make the transfer on the Internet, I chose to phone Scottish Power and discuss my misgivings about their past misdemeanors — evidence of this girl's new-found confidence to confront the baddies.  I dialed their number...

"Hellooo," said a cheery Scottish voice. I liked that. I liked it a lot. And I know I'm far too easily impressed!  I also know that, for all their Scottish credentials, they're owned by the Spanish. But yes, the deal was as described on their website and on MoneySupermarket.com, and yes, they could have me swapped over on the very day that my First Utility tariff expired.

So that's that sorted... until 30th June 2018. By which time Scottish Power, buoyed up by their growing customer base, will probably be raising their prices to match.  Time will tell.

Life was so much simpler when I had a choice of just one supplier (SWEB) and paid them every quarter.

Island Holiday

One activity guaranteed to lift the gloom of the darkest winter day is to plan this year's holidays. Scanning a map of the Kingdom for interesting places that I've never visited, my eye settled on the Isle of Man.

In the days of Yahoo 360 (remember that?), I had a passing on-line friendship with a lady who lived on the Isle of Man and waxed lyrical about its beauty, whist bemoaning its lack of nightlife and the cost of getting to the mainland. Well, nightlife has never been important for me, but the isle does indeed appear to be a very beautiful place. It's high time, therefore, that I went and found out for myself.

One thing I'm not planning to do is sunbathe on a beach in Douglas! The Wikipedia article on the Isle of Man makes interesting reading — average high temperature in September a modest 16 degrees and 11 days of rain out of 30. However, I'm undeterred. With hills, mountains, Neolithic remains and quaint towns to explore, railways to ride on and miles of coastal footpath to trek, I'm convinced that a week will fly by.

My first task was to find a nice holiday cottage; preferably one with a reasonable degree of privacy. I must be an antisocial sod, but I don't relish the close company of other visitors in some holiday complex. Fortunately, I found a little beauty on the Welcome Cottages website – a traditional, detached Manx cottage on the west side of the island. At £660 for the week, it was no bargain (twice the cost of our 2014 cottage in Rye) but it's everything I'd hoped for and more beside. I quickly paid my £250 deposit.

Next came the task of getting there.  My friend from all those years ago was right; it ain't cheap. I toyed with flying from Gloucester and hiring a car on arrival, but decided in the end that it was far simpler to take Bluebird on the ferry from Liverpool. That added £278 to the cost of the holiday. One begins to understand why budget holidays in Majorca are a lot more popular than a week in Mann, though I know where I'd rather be!

To complete this holiday, I'm also going to book a couple of nights in Liverpool. It's a long time since I've been there and, at the very least, Paddy's Wigwam beckons. "Liverpool has world-class tourist attractions" boasts the city's website. I'm sure they're right.

The End of the World

Goodbye Slimming World, 

I'm leaving you today; 

goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Goodbye all you people, 

there's nothing you can say 

to make me change my mind. 

Goodbye.

(With apologies to Roger Waters: The Wall, 1979)

Just before Christmas I excitedly proclaimed to the world that no only had I achieved my Slimming World target weight, but surpassed it by a pound. I wrote: "With Christmas celebrations looming large, the timing could not have been better."  That wasn't entirely true.

On December 14th my Slimming World group closed – just one week before I was due to hit my target. For several months it had functioned with a superb temporary consultant, who made the 30 mile round trip from her home every Wednesday to be with us. But when she was offered a group in her home town, she understandably accepted and left us.  For a few weeks the group struggled on, covered by consultants from other groups, but it was more than a little obvious that they didn't really relish being there.  It came as no surprise, therefore, when this letter was handed out:

Dear Member 

It is with sincere regret that we write to let you know that due to circumstances outside our control, we are having to close your Slimming World group held at Whitecroft Memorial Hall. The last group will take place on Wednesday the 14th December 2016. At Slimming World our aim always is that members receive exceptional service from a caring Consultant, the motivation and support from each other and the fun and inspiration from a group where sharing is key to everyone’s success. When this support network breaks down we understand only too well how unsettling and distressing it can be. We would like to do our utmost to provide you with the same excellent service in another way, we would love for you to attend a group where full Image Therapy is offered, and will do our upmost (sic) to support you to do this. 

If you would like to transfer to another group, we can provide you with details of your local groups. Please take this letter with you as authorisation that back fees will not be required.....

For the week that I'd so looked forward to, I transferred to a group that met on the same evening, 9 miles from my home. When I arrived they were in party mood and about to sit down to a Christmas meal. They invited me to join them, but I'd already arranged to have my evening meal with S-, so I politely declined. Instead, I weighed, collected my Certificate of Success and left with tears in my eyes.  Oh how I longed for my Slimming World friends from Whitecroft to have been there!

Perhaps illogically, I felt angry with Slimming World for robbing me of my evening of triumph. The week before, a few members of my group expressed their belief that the group had failed because the population of Whitecroft wasn't high enough to support more than one group every week and consultants could earn more elsewhere. Perhaps that's true, but I also felt angry with myself; angry about that week when I'd not lost any weight and two others when I'd only lost ½lb. If only!  If only!!

I've thought long and hard about returning to the group I'd attended on December 23rd.  The welcome from the consultant was as warm as it could possibly have been, and all the more so when I explained that I was a 'Whitecroft exile'. However, I've finally decided to turn my back on Slimming World altogether.

• The 'new' group I attended meets at 6.30pm. If I stayed for the Image Therapy (group support) sessions, I wouldn't leave until 8pm, so probably wouldn't get home until about 8.30, which is rather late for an evening meal. 


• Other Slimming World groups meet on other days, but Wednesday is far-and-away the best for me. Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays are out of the question as I have other regular commitments. 


• I could, of course, simply get weighed and skip the Image Therapy, but then I'd lose the support that would be the whole reason for attending.


• I've just about managed to keep within my Target Weight Range over Christmas; no mean achievement, considering the amount of Christmas Cake, chocolate and plonk that was on offer. If I can stay reasonably focused through that lot then I think I have the self-discipline to maintain a healthy weight.

I realize that this flies in the face of all advice that Slimming World give to new Target Members, but my mind is made up.  Officially, the Whitecroft group has only closed temporarily. If (and it must be a big if) a new consultant can be found, and if the group resumes on the same day and at a convenient time, then I may rejoin. Only time will tell.

Post Script

Re-reading this post, I'm concerned that it may appear rather 'anti-Slimming World'. That was not my intention.  I will always be grateful to Slimming World for the encouragement they gave in getting control of my weight, and I'd recommend them to anyone. Thanks to Slimming World I'm not only slimmer but better looking (my friend assure me!) and healthier than I was 6 months ago. Debra, our consultant for most of my Slimming World journey, has been truly amazing.

Last week I saw my GP about a forthcoming minor operation and took the opportunity to mention that I'd lost a lot of weight. "I had a feeling that you were looking a lot slimmer, Angie, than when I last saw you," he commented. He then checked my blood pressure, which turned out to be an extremely healthy 120/70.  "Absolutely spot-on" was his comment, and he suggested that I cease taking my blood pressure tablet (Lisinopril) and my statin (Simvastatin), then see how my blood pressure reacts. Wow!